They checked us into our room and the party started...I got all hooked up to my IV and an hour later they started the Pitocin; the medication that strengthens labor contractions…sounds like fun right? I started progressing quickly and to be honest, the contractions weren’t that bad. I was walking around, bouncing on the birthing ball and feeling relieved that I could “handle” the pain…Little did I know that not long after the midwife was going to come in and break my water…ummmmm excuse me…I realize now that I was completely clueless to the fact that contractions are worse, MUCH MUCH WORSE, after your water breaks.
They started coming on stronger and faster and I
was breathing like a person who was under water for far too long and thankful
to have reached the surface. I had dilated to 5cm and was about ready to
administer the epidural myself when suddenly the angel from heaven, AKA the
epidural guy, came into the room and I completely forgot how terrified I was to
have a needle put into my spine and welcomed him like we were friends since kindergarten.
The epidural was a breeze compared to the labor pains and shortly after it was administered
the pain subsided and I was able to relax…it was like a freaking miracle,
epidurals are fantastic.
My
husband, Ryan, hates needles and had to leave the room when they gave me the
epidural…so there I was laying on my side watching the screen and seeing these
crazy contractions and not feeling a thing when suddenly I started shaking like
someone left me in the North Pole with no clothes on in January. Just then,
Ryan walks back in the room and is totally freaked out since I’m laying there
hanging on to the bars on the side of the bed shaking and chattering my teeth
together…he thought they paralyzed me…I crack up about this now, but I can imagine
how freaky that scene must have been to him. Apparently this was a side effect
of the epidural that I was also clueless about and it’s my fault for not taking
birthing classes.
The
nurse came in to check on me and said I was at 6 cm and it would probably be a
bit longer, no sooner did she walk out of the room when I felt this huge shift
in weight in my lower abdomen and had the urge to push (it basically felt like
I had to take a shadoobie, as Chelsea Handler calls it). Ryan called the nurse
to come back, I told her what I was feeling and she said it was unlikely I had dilated
4 cm in less than 10 minutes, but she checked anyway, and she was wrong…I was
fully dilated and ready to go. Ryan looked at me and all of the color had
washed from his face, I could tell it was hitting him, he was about to be a
daddy…
Prior
to the labor we had agreed he was going to stay north of the equator and leave
the business end to the professionals….That worked out well for the first hour,
but then the student nurses who were helping (yes, 6 student nurses watching me
try to deliver a baby which on a normal day might bother me, but on an “in
labor” day I could care less), had to leave for the day so it was up to Ryan to
take over…thankfully, he did fine, but low and behold little Maverick was not
fine.
My
doctor was giving a teaching seminar not far from the hospital and the midwife
was there monitoring me every now and then. I pushed for 3 and a half hours,
and Maverick wasn’t coming out. I could see the top of his head with a mirror
and they kept telling me he was stuck on my pelvic bone. My epidural wore off
and they wouldn’t give me anymore because they said it would be better for me
to feel what was going on so I could push better. I was exhausted, in pain, and
desperate for him to come out, but he wouldn’t budge. I will never forget the
midwife, who shall remain nameless, coming into the room and looking at me like
she was pissed I was taking so long to deliver this baby. Everyone thought he
would have been born well before 2pm, but it was after 5pm, and no baby. At the
next contraction she said she was going to “check me” and see how I was pushing…I
literally gave it my all and I pushed, and she looked up at me and said, “I’m
just not feeling the effort”. I burst into tears, the nurse who had been with
me the entire time said I assure you she has been pushing with great energy
this entire time. I begged for more epidural and asked to rest. They went
outside of the room to talk and try to reach my doctor. When they came back in
the midwife said they called the anesthesiologist to come and give me more of the
epidural medication, I could rest for 30 minutes, then I had to push again, and
if I COULDN’T deliver the baby within an hour, I would have to have a C-section.
I was devastated,
I had not planned on a C-section at all…I was terrified to have an actual surgical
procedure while being awake so I vowed I would get this baby out. She turned to
leave the room when all of a sudden everything started beeping, the nurses came
back in the room, the midwife exclaimed, “he’s going tachycardic, he’s going tachycardic”….In
the blink of an eye they called my OB, the nurse came racing in and said, “your
doctor is on her way, we are prepping you for a C-section, the baby’s heartbeat
is too high and we need to get him out.” Well, that was it, I lost my mind, I
started crying hysterically, I called my sister who answered the phone thinking
she was going to be congratulating me on my delivery and I quickly shouted, I
have to have an emergency C-section, I’m freaking out, just promise me it won’t
hurt!” She stuttered a bit and finally said, no, it won’t hurt, OMG what’s
going on and I explained in a half a second and hung up the phone…Ryan had been
taken out of the room to don the surgical garb, I have to admit, he looked very
Grey’s Anatomy attractive, and for a moment I thought I married a doctor…they
gave me more epidural, switched me to a different bed and started wheeling me
through the hospital to the surgical room, I threw up the entire way…lovely,
but then again, I had thrown up several times while pushing too so I wasn’t too
surprised.
The
room was like something out of a movie, huge bright lights in the ceiling, a
huge team of nurses, I was hooked up to all kinds of stuff, and finally, my
doctor arrived…She quickly said hello, explained to me that she felt there was
something wrong since I had been pushing for so long and he should have come
out, she began testing my lower abdomen to see if I could feel anything, and I
still sort of could so I exclaimed, “I can feel that” as if shouting it would
get the point across faster…she told them some medical terminology that I am
clueless of and next thing I know I’m feeling like I’m floating on air…My hands
were strapped to two poles and I was instructed to hold on tightly to try to
stop the shaking from the second epidural, and I looked up at the nurse and
said, “I feel like I just smoked a joint”…She giggled and said, “it’s ok
sweetie, we just gave you some morphine”, well let me tell you, I heart
morphine…I was TOTALLY out of it, I could feel the sensations of what they were
doing, but I didn’t feel any pain and I was so gone they could have been taking
my leg off and I wouldn’t have cared. I looked at Ryan and told him to start
telling me a story to help me focus, and sure enough he started talking to me
about the Philadelphia Eagles, and Chip Kelly, and who we would pick up in the offseason,
and did I like Nick Foles as our quarterback, and then suddenly I felt this
enormous weight being pulled out of me and seconds later we heard him cry, his
very first cry. (Please note, I am now crying as I type this…the moment is
still so real) We looked at each other and Ryan had the biggest smile on his
face I had ever seen, he looked up at him and said he’s out, babe, he’s here! I
felt like I passed out for a minute and woke back up to the sound of my doctor
saying he’s out, and the nurses telling me they are cleaning him up and
weighing him. Ryan went to him immediately and started snapping photos like a
proud daddy. He came back to me and the brought little 7lb, 8oz, 20inches long
baby Maverick, and they laid him on my chest…It was the best kind of love I
have ever felt, it was love at first sight, truly, it does exist.
They
quickly took him away to the nursery, Ryan followed, and they stitched me up
and wheeled me off to recovery. In the recovery room I was draped with tons of
towels and sheets to bring my body temperature up, and finally they came back,
Ryan and baby Mav. They told me I needed to try to nurse him, and they gave him
to me. Thank goodness he latched right away, and I was amazed at all that had
gone down in the last 24 hours. I realized women are freaking amazing, as if I
didn’t already know, but we are…
My
doctor came into the recovery room and explained what had happened. She said I
never should have pushed that long, that the wrong part of Maverick’s head was
trying to come down the birth canal and it was unable to pass the pelvic bone
since it wasn’t the part of the skull that collapses together to allow for the
head to pass. She explained that the only way to get babies coming down the
canal like that was with forceps or suction, which she considers inhumane and
doesn’t perform those types of deliveries, or via C-section. My sister was
delivered that way and she turned out ok, so I’m sure I might have been fine
with that, but she preferred to do the surgery explaining in her opinion it was
safer. She said he was so far down my birth canal that he was delivered in a
breech position via C-section. In other words, he had to be pulled up out of my
birth canal, then out of my belly.
So
there it is folks, the miracle of life….that entire time after my water broke
Ryan and I stated back and forth a bunch of times, “never again”…, but I’ll
tell you what…if all the stars aligned and I got pregnant, I would do it all
over again, ALL OF IT, the crappy pregnancy, the crazy delivery, the vomiting,
the pushing, everything, if it meant I could experience that feeling a second time.
It’s the most powerful thing I have ever felt…
So,
ladies, the moral of the story is, ask questions, go to classes, read books, be
afraid, but know that it’ll be ok, be excited, be thrilled and curious! Women
have babies every day, every single day, around the world, in hospitals, on
farms, in the outback, on boats, in taxi cabs, it’s crazy, and amazing, and
nuts, but it’s literally life, and that’s my story so far, just a small, but
gigantic, chapter in my book.
