The Fundamentals of Caring

The Fundamentals of Caring

Peaches: What's it like being a parent?
Ben: Every corny thing you've heard about having a kid is completely and utterly true... It's the only reason we're here.

                It’s been awhile since I’ve blogged, and truth be told, I wanted to, but I knew I was going to wait until I made my pregnancy announcement. Now that the secret is out I have sooooooooooooo much I want to discuss, but I’ll start with a movie I watched this July called The Fundamentals of Caring. It was a random pick and I only chose it because I’m highly attracted to Paul Rudd, and he stars in the movie so I figured it couldn’t be terrible. Let me tell you, by the time it was over, and at the point I heard the above conversation, I was balling like a baby (pregnancy hormones got me crying at least once every other day).

                Paul Rudd plays Ben, and I don’t want to give away any of the plot, but when he said that line, “Every corny thing you’ve heard about having a kid is completely and utterly true….It’s the only reason we’re here.”, it struck a chord with me because it is exactly how I would describe being a parent, maybe minus the last part since I know kids aren’t for everyone. I’ve said many times before that I never thought I would have kids, I wasn’t ever 100% sure I wanted them, but life throws you curve balls and I’m so glad I knocked this one out of the park.

                Some people are lucky enough to wake up every day with a purpose. They have the job of their dreams, or the life they've always wanted. For the rest of us, it’s the rat race, waking up every day and doing things out of habit and not out of passion. You have a job that pays the bills but it doesn’t light a fire inside you. I, ladies, and maybe a few gentlemen, am one of those people. I have a great job that lots of people might take in a heartbeat, but it doesn’t “do it” for me, I don’t have a passion for it, I’m just good at it and so I do it. Prior to having a kid I was stuck in this rut, but now that I have a child I get it. I know why I want to wake up every day, I finally have a passion and a drive to do something spectacular, and that’s to be a mom and to raise a young man in this day and age. It’s terrifying and gratifying all at the same time.

                There are days I crash and burn and there are days I want to jump up on the top tier and grab that gold medal because I killed it. The crazy thing is that even on my bad days I never want to quit, I always want to keep going, try again, try harder, and experience some new facet of parenthood. The road to retirement in parenthood is LONG, and until our dying day I don’t think we every really retire at being a parent, but I don’t “long” for it to pass the way I yearn for 5:00pm Monday through Friday. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely count the minutes until nap time every now and then, but it’s different. Every time I see my son’s face I fall in love all over again.

                Being pregnant for the second time, and knowing it’s a boy has got me all worked up and overly emotional. My husband is so stoked to have another boy. I’m super happy too, but I can admit that in the moment I heard “boy” I realized how much I would have loved to have a girl, but as my niece used to say, “you get what you get and you don’t get upset”, and “every baby is a blessing” so just being able to have another baby, boy or girl, is something I am incredibly thankful for.

How do I feel about having another baby? Well, I’m excited and I am terrified. I know women have been having babies since the dawn of time, lots and lots of babies, and while the thought of having another seems so beautiful it’s also crazy scary. I’m trying to wrap my head around the fact that I won’t be sleeping for several months after the baby is born, only this time I’ll have a fresh two year old running around too. How the hell am I going to do this? How the hell have billions of women before me done this? My roots are going to be out of control, my nails probably won’t see polish until 2020, my eye brows are going to bush out, and I may even skip a few showers, OR….I’ll surprise myself and somehow keep it together, wake up every day and slap on some mascara and lip gloss and change some poop diapers with some 4 inch heals on, in my pajamas of course.

                On that note, and with that image seared into your mind (you're welcome), I will close this blog by repeating the answer to the question: What’s it like being a parent? Every corny thing you’ve heard about having a kid is completely and utterly true…It’s the only reason we’re here.

Migraines, Insomnia & Anxiety

                 

              Today, I decided to blog about my journey with essential oils as a mom and how they helped my chronic migraines, insomnia and anxiety. Essential oils are growing in popularity, and with several diluted and chemical additives being included in so many of them, it’s important to know the difference.  Let me take you back to where it all began for me. I have been a migraine sufferer for the majority of my life. It started when I was 12 years old. Beyond the migraines, I have also struggled with insomnia and anxiety, both of which also began at a young age. Some doctors attributed this to a hormone imbalance, and others to stress. All I can tell you is that any and/or all of these issues are awful, and terrible to live with.

                A lot of people describe me as an outgoing, sarcastic, and maybe even a little funny, gal. While I can see this being true, wink, wink, I also think those are all ways I have managed to mask my anxiety. I am definitely an extrovert. I feed off of other people’s energy. I love to be in social situations. Perhaps this is because it gets me out of my own head, it’s a distraction from stress. Before I was a mom, I was always out. Whether it was going to work, yoga, happy hour, friend’s houses, to dinner, to lunch, to breakfast, to brunch (maybe I have a food addiction too), to clubs, to theme parks, on trips, family gatherings, whatever it was, the last place I wanted to be was home, alone.

                Fast forward to pregnancy…I am somehow working from home. As an extrovert, this is terrible for me, but it pays the student loan and health insurance bills so I stuck with it. I figured it would be beneficial once the baby was born…Wrong. Throughout my pregnancy I struggled with sleep issues, and early in my pregnancy, migraines. Being pregnant means being EXTRA careful about what you put into your body, and so, I couldn’t take my prescription migraine medications, which left me with Tylenol. Tylenol? Really? My migraines laugh hysterically at Tylenol. It does nothing for them. So I tried Tylenol with a cup of coffee to get the Excedrin effect without the Aspirin…also, didn’t work. The only thing that managed to give me some slight relief was rubbing IceyHot along my eyelid and forehead accompanied by an ice pack. Hello, IcyHot, ON MY EYELID. I would rather feel the burn of the product than the pain of the migraine. Other than that, I suffered through the intense pain, auras, sensitivity to light and sound, nausea and vomiting. Vomiting on top of my already horrible morning/all day sickness. Sometimes for days. I’m not saying this to make you feel bad for me, lots of women struggle with this, it just sucks when you’re trying to work and you feel debilitated and there’s nothing you can do about it.

                Moving along again, my second trimester of pregnancy, around weeks 16-17, the nausea stopped, and so did the migraines. THANK YOU JESUS! No more migraines for the remainder of my pregnancy. The insomnia on the other hand, continued throughout the pregnancy. I remember lying in bed with big time restless leg syndrome and stressing about the sleep I would undoubtedly lose once the baby arrived. I would get so upset at the reality that I wasn’t sleeping, and I was scared I would lose my mind.

                Finally, baby is born, I won’t rehash that story…see previous blogs for that party. The first night in the hospital I didn’t sleep a wink, even after an exhausting day. Baby slept, not me. The next day the nurses said I had to sleep and offered me a Unisom type medication. I took it out of desperation to sleep, even if only for a few hours. Got home, continued to go hours, sometimes days, with zero sleep. Again, baby was sleeping, mommy, not sleeping. I started to feel the crazy creeping in. I was losing it. There are no words to describe the exhaustion of zero hours of sleep for days in a row. I felt like I was hearing things, forgetting things, I was afraid I might accidentally fall asleep holding the baby. This accompanied by the raging hormones and crying uncontrollably post-delivery left me feeling emotionally crippled. There were times I told my husband to supplement with formula so I could take a Unisom and sleep for 5 hours straight. Thank God for those times and for him being willing to get up and do the nighttime feeds even when he had work the next day.

                Then, wouldn’t you know it, my migraines returned. A mere two weeks post-delivery I got my first migraine. Awesome. Again, I reached for the IcyHot, Tylenol and coffee just to try to dull the pain so I could still breastfeed and not take my prescription meds. Well, this lasted only so long, and so I decided I needed to take the medication so I could be able to care for my baby. Taking the meds meant 12 hours of no breastfeeding which translates to pumping and dumping. This happened often enough to make a cow cry over my spilled breastmilk.

                In a last ditch effort to help my migraines and insomnia, I decided to try acupuncture. I went to an outstanding practitioner, but unfortunately it did nothing for my migraines. It did seem to help with sleep, but the day after a treatment I would always get a migraine, so after several months of treatment, and hundreds of dollars, I stopped. Well, this is when I found the oils…Thank you Rachel, for introducing me to these oils! I received a sample of M-grain. A Young Living essential oil blend made specifically for migraine sufferers not accident related. I started getting a migraine one day and tried the oil. I was skeptical, but guess what? It worked. I started getting another a few days later. Used the oils again, and it worked again. This happened several more times and that was it. I was sold. I contacted her and she told me about the Premium Starter Kit with diffuser. She mentioned I may find it helps with my insomnia and anxiety as well. Knowing how the M-grain worked for me, I was all over this. I made the investment, I bought the kit, and I bought a bottle of M-grain.

                Here I am, a mere seven months later, I am an avid oil user and a true believer in the power of essential oils. I went from taking my prescription medication 5-10 times a month, to needing it only 1-3 times a month. I’m sleeping better at night thanks to a diffuser blend of Lavender, Patchouli, Cedarwood, and Frankincense, along with the occasional Sleep Essence supplement containing a blend of essential oils said to improve sleep along with melatonin. Not only are these oils blowing my mind and helping me with my issues, but they are a lifesaver for my husband, dog and my one year old son. Got the sniffles? There’s an oil for that. Diaper rash? There’s an oil for that. Colds, viruses, bug bites, sun burn, restless baby, stinky diaper pail, stinky dog? Whatever it is, THERE IS AN OIL FOR THAT.

                For months now, I have been ecstatically spreading the word about these oils since I started discovering their many benefits, and I plan to continue. I have replaced just about every OTC medication and toxic cleaning product in my house with essential oils and essential oil products. I even use it as part of my daily skin care routine! My son, who goes to daycare three days a week, has benefited tremendously from the diffusing of essential oils. There has not ever been a time where I have needed to go into his room in the middle of the night to comfort or calm him when he has been sick so long as I put him to bed with the diffuser running. That in and of itself is amazing, and it is no exaggeration for me. Am I saying I will never need to comfort him? No, I am just saying what has happened thus far, and regardless, I believe whole heartedly that the use of essential oils has helped speed his recovery from illnesses much faster than if I had done nothing at all, or just used infant Tylenol.

                If you’re interested in learning more, please do not hesitate to reach out to me. I would love to talk to you about Young Living’s essential oils and how they might be able to help you and your family. Keep in mind, not all oils are created equally. There is truly a difference between what you can buy in the store, and what Young Living offers. Young Living offers a full seed to seal guarantee on all of their products. They are 100% pure, therapeutic grade, harvested at the peak of their growth. "Only 2% of essential oils sold in North America are suitable for medicinal purposes, and Young Living makes 98% of them!" www.Distillery9.com

Please send any and all questions to: Lola2680@gmail.com

A Chemical Pregnancy

                In my last blog I talked about the decision to move forward and try for baby #2. The good news is, we went for it. I read everything I could to learn how to “get pregnant” and actually try for a baby. Our first was a surprise, we weren’t “trying” to get pregnant, it just happened, as many pregnancies do, and truth be told, this is my preferred “method” as apparently I function better in surprise situations. I took so many pregnancy tests the poor dollar store could barely keep up with me. Sometimes I would even test twice a day. As the pregnancy progressed I can remember noticing that second pink line would appear faster and darker each time I would take one. It was almost like a science experiment minus the petri dishes, Bunsen burner and test tubes.

                This time around, knowing I would want to test a zillion times, I stocked up. I ordered a big ol’ bag of pregnancy test strips from where else, Amazon, thank you prime, and in addition I had my dollar store tests ready to roll too. I have become a wealth of knowledge in regards to getting pregnant. Ladies, let me tell you, in my opinion First Response is over rated and overpriced. Look for the tests that can detect the lowest amount of HCG and don’t cost you $20.00. There are several on the market that will save you dollars and definitely work to detect pregnancy up to 6 days before your missed period. I am proof. I can say that I am now well versed and know all about ovulation, luteinizing hormone, basil body temperature, conception, fertilization, the journey along the fallopian tube, implantation, cell stage, cell division, blastocyst, human chorionic gonadotropin, zygote, embryo, implantation cramps, implantation bleeding, sensitivity of 25 mIU, or 25 ng/L, apparently I just received my degree in human fertilization.

                After all of the research, applying the concepts, taking my temperature, being HYPER AWARE of my body and the changes that happen with each “cycle”, I felt beyond confident we would hit a home run and we would conceive. So I started testing, overzealously early, just in case, and of course I received several negative results, but then, I took a test 8 days before my period was due and the faintest line you could ever imagine appeared. It was barely visible, but it was there. I knew that with each passing day your little stud or muffin doubles the amount of HCG in your body so the next day’s test should appear darker. As planned, I took another test a day later, and there it was, a definitive second line, still fair in color, but unmistakably there. I was THRILLED. A New Year’s Day baby. A new year’s day due date, how cute, instead of popping corks off champagne bottles I’ll be popping out a baby.

                Day three, I took a test, I waited, I waited, I waited, no line. I took another test, still, no line. Admittedly it was the afternoon so I chocked it up to that. I read and read, sometimes this happens, sometimes you drink too much water and it’s too early in a pregnancy and you flush the hcg levels to below detection. No worries, I will try again tomorrow first thing in the morning, just like you’re supposed to. Woke up in the morning, took one Amazon test and one Dollar Store test, both showed no line. What happened? What the hell just happened? I know enough to know that it is next to impossible to obtain a false positive. So here’s what happened, it’s called a chemical pregnancy.

                What the hell is a chemical pregnancy? How did I miss this in my “studies”. Well, here’s what a chemical pregnancy is, it’s a pregnancy that starts and ends before your missed period. Chemical pregnancies make up more than 75% of miscarriages, and account for ONE in FOUR pregnancies. More often than not they go completely unnoticed since a period hasn’t been missed so most women don’t even know they have conceived, and this happens because of random chromosomal abnormalities that cease the continuation of implantation & development. Sigh….ok. They are referred to as chemical pregnancies because they cannot be detected clinically by ultrasound, they can only be detected by a pregnancy test or blood test.

                So, it’s back to the drawing board for baby number two. The good news is, I have pretty much nailed my “fertile days” so hopefully the next time around we will have more luck. Also, when I asked Maverick if he wanted a baby brother, or sister, he shook his head no, several times, but for the record, he shakes his head no for everything, I just found it hysterical at the time. Apparently, what Mav wants, Mav gets, and he wasn’t ready for a sibling this go round, but I’m optimistic that when the time is right, it will happen.

                I debated on whether or not I should blog about this, but I figured, what the hell. There’s probably lots of girls out there who might have experienced this, and I’m hoping to shed some light on the bright side of things. More often than not, subsequent pregnancies post a chemical pregnancy are a success, so cheers to that, and cheers to knowing I can get pregnant again as this in and of itself can be a mystery for hundreds of women! This little bump in the road has also taught me not to procrastinate, and to accept that things won’t always go exactly as planned. You would think I would know this by now, but sometimes we all need a little reminder.