Migraines, Insomnia & Anxiety

                 

              Today, I decided to blog about my journey with essential oils as a mom and how they helped my chronic migraines, insomnia and anxiety. Essential oils are growing in popularity, and with several diluted and chemical additives being included in so many of them, it’s important to know the difference.  Let me take you back to where it all began for me. I have been a migraine sufferer for the majority of my life. It started when I was 12 years old. Beyond the migraines, I have also struggled with insomnia and anxiety, both of which also began at a young age. Some doctors attributed this to a hormone imbalance, and others to stress. All I can tell you is that any and/or all of these issues are awful, and terrible to live with.

                A lot of people describe me as an outgoing, sarcastic, and maybe even a little funny, gal. While I can see this being true, wink, wink, I also think those are all ways I have managed to mask my anxiety. I am definitely an extrovert. I feed off of other people’s energy. I love to be in social situations. Perhaps this is because it gets me out of my own head, it’s a distraction from stress. Before I was a mom, I was always out. Whether it was going to work, yoga, happy hour, friend’s houses, to dinner, to lunch, to breakfast, to brunch (maybe I have a food addiction too), to clubs, to theme parks, on trips, family gatherings, whatever it was, the last place I wanted to be was home, alone.

                Fast forward to pregnancy…I am somehow working from home. As an extrovert, this is terrible for me, but it pays the student loan and health insurance bills so I stuck with it. I figured it would be beneficial once the baby was born…Wrong. Throughout my pregnancy I struggled with sleep issues, and early in my pregnancy, migraines. Being pregnant means being EXTRA careful about what you put into your body, and so, I couldn’t take my prescription migraine medications, which left me with Tylenol. Tylenol? Really? My migraines laugh hysterically at Tylenol. It does nothing for them. So I tried Tylenol with a cup of coffee to get the Excedrin effect without the Aspirin…also, didn’t work. The only thing that managed to give me some slight relief was rubbing IceyHot along my eyelid and forehead accompanied by an ice pack. Hello, IcyHot, ON MY EYELID. I would rather feel the burn of the product than the pain of the migraine. Other than that, I suffered through the intense pain, auras, sensitivity to light and sound, nausea and vomiting. Vomiting on top of my already horrible morning/all day sickness. Sometimes for days. I’m not saying this to make you feel bad for me, lots of women struggle with this, it just sucks when you’re trying to work and you feel debilitated and there’s nothing you can do about it.

                Moving along again, my second trimester of pregnancy, around weeks 16-17, the nausea stopped, and so did the migraines. THANK YOU JESUS! No more migraines for the remainder of my pregnancy. The insomnia on the other hand, continued throughout the pregnancy. I remember lying in bed with big time restless leg syndrome and stressing about the sleep I would undoubtedly lose once the baby arrived. I would get so upset at the reality that I wasn’t sleeping, and I was scared I would lose my mind.

                Finally, baby is born, I won’t rehash that story…see previous blogs for that party. The first night in the hospital I didn’t sleep a wink, even after an exhausting day. Baby slept, not me. The next day the nurses said I had to sleep and offered me a Unisom type medication. I took it out of desperation to sleep, even if only for a few hours. Got home, continued to go hours, sometimes days, with zero sleep. Again, baby was sleeping, mommy, not sleeping. I started to feel the crazy creeping in. I was losing it. There are no words to describe the exhaustion of zero hours of sleep for days in a row. I felt like I was hearing things, forgetting things, I was afraid I might accidentally fall asleep holding the baby. This accompanied by the raging hormones and crying uncontrollably post-delivery left me feeling emotionally crippled. There were times I told my husband to supplement with formula so I could take a Unisom and sleep for 5 hours straight. Thank God for those times and for him being willing to get up and do the nighttime feeds even when he had work the next day.

                Then, wouldn’t you know it, my migraines returned. A mere two weeks post-delivery I got my first migraine. Awesome. Again, I reached for the IcyHot, Tylenol and coffee just to try to dull the pain so I could still breastfeed and not take my prescription meds. Well, this lasted only so long, and so I decided I needed to take the medication so I could be able to care for my baby. Taking the meds meant 12 hours of no breastfeeding which translates to pumping and dumping. This happened often enough to make a cow cry over my spilled breastmilk.

                In a last ditch effort to help my migraines and insomnia, I decided to try acupuncture. I went to an outstanding practitioner, but unfortunately it did nothing for my migraines. It did seem to help with sleep, but the day after a treatment I would always get a migraine, so after several months of treatment, and hundreds of dollars, I stopped. Well, this is when I found the oils…Thank you Rachel, for introducing me to these oils! I received a sample of M-grain. A Young Living essential oil blend made specifically for migraine sufferers not accident related. I started getting a migraine one day and tried the oil. I was skeptical, but guess what? It worked. I started getting another a few days later. Used the oils again, and it worked again. This happened several more times and that was it. I was sold. I contacted her and she told me about the Premium Starter Kit with diffuser. She mentioned I may find it helps with my insomnia and anxiety as well. Knowing how the M-grain worked for me, I was all over this. I made the investment, I bought the kit, and I bought a bottle of M-grain.

                Here I am, a mere seven months later, I am an avid oil user and a true believer in the power of essential oils. I went from taking my prescription medication 5-10 times a month, to needing it only 1-3 times a month. I’m sleeping better at night thanks to a diffuser blend of Lavender, Patchouli, Cedarwood, and Frankincense, along with the occasional Sleep Essence supplement containing a blend of essential oils said to improve sleep along with melatonin. Not only are these oils blowing my mind and helping me with my issues, but they are a lifesaver for my husband, dog and my one year old son. Got the sniffles? There’s an oil for that. Diaper rash? There’s an oil for that. Colds, viruses, bug bites, sun burn, restless baby, stinky diaper pail, stinky dog? Whatever it is, THERE IS AN OIL FOR THAT.

                For months now, I have been ecstatically spreading the word about these oils since I started discovering their many benefits, and I plan to continue. I have replaced just about every OTC medication and toxic cleaning product in my house with essential oils and essential oil products. I even use it as part of my daily skin care routine! My son, who goes to daycare three days a week, has benefited tremendously from the diffusing of essential oils. There has not ever been a time where I have needed to go into his room in the middle of the night to comfort or calm him when he has been sick so long as I put him to bed with the diffuser running. That in and of itself is amazing, and it is no exaggeration for me. Am I saying I will never need to comfort him? No, I am just saying what has happened thus far, and regardless, I believe whole heartedly that the use of essential oils has helped speed his recovery from illnesses much faster than if I had done nothing at all, or just used infant Tylenol.

                If you’re interested in learning more, please do not hesitate to reach out to me. I would love to talk to you about Young Living’s essential oils and how they might be able to help you and your family. Keep in mind, not all oils are created equally. There is truly a difference between what you can buy in the store, and what Young Living offers. Young Living offers a full seed to seal guarantee on all of their products. They are 100% pure, therapeutic grade, harvested at the peak of their growth. "Only 2% of essential oils sold in North America are suitable for medicinal purposes, and Young Living makes 98% of them!" www.Distillery9.com

Please send any and all questions to: Lola2680@gmail.com

Dear Mama

Dear Momma,

'Ma-Ma' was most likely one of the very first words you encouraged me to learn. And then we referred to you as Mommy and then mommy faded out the older we got and you became Mom. When we were mad at you, we called you Mother and when we called your name from a distance it was always, Ma! So, now it's back to Momma on this day again. Where it all began. I wanted to share my thanks and appreciation for you from the beginning, until now, Momma. 

First of all, I need to account for all the days, moments, and memories that you'll never forget, but are far beyond my memory and remembrance. Like the sleepless nights you had when I was a newborn and the many times I kicked and screamed and a kiss, a cuddle, a swing, a bottle, or not even a pacifier  could get my cry to seize. And with that I add, thank you for your patience. Your patience in waiting for me to crawl, to walk, to talk, to say the alphabet, to learn how to kick a ball, to finish the first through the twelfth grade, the patience in learning my lessons when it came to parties, to boys, to managing my monies. Being you takes a lot of patience. 

I want to thank you for all the things you ever did that may have seemed to go unnoticed by Nate, Dad and I, but we sure did notice them all. Because without you and those things you did for us, we were more than your average dysfunctional family. We were lost without your order. You are like the glue that keeps us all in line and close together. In fact I'm going to start calling you Elmer, as in Elmer glue. Because you're not only the glue for our family. But for your brothers and sisters, your late mom and dad, and your friends. You are amazing, Elmer Momma!

We notice that you work a 9-5, come home and before you even think about kicking your feet up its diving into the fridge and getting a head start on preparing dinner for everyone. It's starting and finishing a load or two of laundry. It's ironing Dad's clothes for work. It's preparing lunches for everyone's tomorrow lunches. It's balancing the checkbook. It's doing the dishes. It's finishing any odds and ends around the house, doing any odds and ends for everyone in the family before you FINALLY sit down and kick your feet up. I'm sorry for the times I woke you up when your head finally hit the back of the couch after a long day where I wish now that I had the strength to carry you into your bed and tuck you in too. Because that's what you deserved, Momma. 

Tucking in. You were always good at that too, Mom. Thanks for always making me feel safe. For being there on the days I was sick and home from school. You made chicken noodle soup like it was nobody's business, you already had a vomit bucket near by, and a pack of ice or heating pad for wherever the aches and pains were. Thank you for tucking me in at night and reading me a bedtime story and singing "Who's that Doggy in The Window". Thanks for always making sure I had an extra pair of gloves, earmuffs, socks, and pants during the coldest weeks of soccer season. I thought you were crazy, but you were always right and I always needed those extras. How did you always know?! Man, you were good at knowing everything. It was like you knew me better than myself a lot of the times. 

Thank you for teaching me the nursery rhymes, for taking me to McDonalds and letting me have some juice here and there. Cuz a kid should get to try those things every now and then. Nowadays you're judged and considered a bad mom for letting your kids try some McDonalds French fries. Lincoln will get to try some French fries, Mom, I promise. But only on occasion. Thank you for teaching me that money came with good hard work by giving me a small allowance for my chores around home. Thank you for taking me to every Girl Scout event, every softball, basketball and soccer practice and game until I was old enough to drive myself. Thank you for every pair of tennis shoes you bought me when now I know you were giving because you wanted to see the joy in my face when little did I know you had to pick up some hours to pay for those shoes. Thank you for taking me to church and teaching me about right from wrong. Thank you for being a mom I look up to and one I want to be like someday. I know some daughters that want to be anything but a resemblance of their mother's and my heart hurts for them. Being like you is awesome.

Dancing like you is not so awesome, but it's fun! You find fun in anything. You encourage a board game at a gathering while everyone else wants to sit and watch TV or be on their phones. You're a people person. You taught me that it's okay to laugh at myself sometimes. You taught me that it's okay to have fun in my own company sometimes. When times were tough in grade school you knew the best medicine for us; a good ole comic book with a daily joke to start us off on the right foot. You made learning fun. You led by example that you can have just as much, if not more fun in life without drugs or alcohol. You taught me that if I'm not having fun, then why am I giving my time to something I don't enjoy. There were times I used to think you were anything but fun, but now I consider you my best friend. Best friends have lots of fun, Mom. 

Most of all Mom, thank you for giving me all of these tools so that I can be a great mom for Lincoln. The goofy stuff really works! Where I thought Lincoln would look at me crazy, he just laughs with me instead. When he cries and there isn't a damned thing I can do to stop it, you always remind me to relax, and that it too shall pass. When the days seem long you remind me that it's all worth it. That every sleepless night, every moment of frustration and every moment there's a challenge and I feel like a failure, that it WILL get better and it is worth it. I know you're right, because everything you did for me, whether it was what you thought was best or not, was more than good enough for me in my opinion.

There's no handbook individualized enough for Lincoln on how to be the best mom for him, but you taught me a lot and I've taken those memories of ours and have been creating new ones with him. I know you never gave yourself enough credit, nor do I give myself enough, but I think we do a pretty good job at being 'Mom'. I'm happy, Lincoln's happy, and that's something to account for. If it weren't for you, I don't know where I'd be in this journey of motherhood I felt so ill prepared for. 

Mom, what you may not know is that I pray for you every day and I thank God that He chose you to be my mother. Thanks, Mom. I love you. And Happy Mother's Day every damn day! You deserve a celebration in your name 365 days out of the year. 

Love Always,

Liz

A Chemical Pregnancy

                In my last blog I talked about the decision to move forward and try for baby #2. The good news is, we went for it. I read everything I could to learn how to “get pregnant” and actually try for a baby. Our first was a surprise, we weren’t “trying” to get pregnant, it just happened, as many pregnancies do, and truth be told, this is my preferred “method” as apparently I function better in surprise situations. I took so many pregnancy tests the poor dollar store could barely keep up with me. Sometimes I would even test twice a day. As the pregnancy progressed I can remember noticing that second pink line would appear faster and darker each time I would take one. It was almost like a science experiment minus the petri dishes, Bunsen burner and test tubes.

                This time around, knowing I would want to test a zillion times, I stocked up. I ordered a big ol’ bag of pregnancy test strips from where else, Amazon, thank you prime, and in addition I had my dollar store tests ready to roll too. I have become a wealth of knowledge in regards to getting pregnant. Ladies, let me tell you, in my opinion First Response is over rated and overpriced. Look for the tests that can detect the lowest amount of HCG and don’t cost you $20.00. There are several on the market that will save you dollars and definitely work to detect pregnancy up to 6 days before your missed period. I am proof. I can say that I am now well versed and know all about ovulation, luteinizing hormone, basil body temperature, conception, fertilization, the journey along the fallopian tube, implantation, cell stage, cell division, blastocyst, human chorionic gonadotropin, zygote, embryo, implantation cramps, implantation bleeding, sensitivity of 25 mIU, or 25 ng/L, apparently I just received my degree in human fertilization.

                After all of the research, applying the concepts, taking my temperature, being HYPER AWARE of my body and the changes that happen with each “cycle”, I felt beyond confident we would hit a home run and we would conceive. So I started testing, overzealously early, just in case, and of course I received several negative results, but then, I took a test 8 days before my period was due and the faintest line you could ever imagine appeared. It was barely visible, but it was there. I knew that with each passing day your little stud or muffin doubles the amount of HCG in your body so the next day’s test should appear darker. As planned, I took another test a day later, and there it was, a definitive second line, still fair in color, but unmistakably there. I was THRILLED. A New Year’s Day baby. A new year’s day due date, how cute, instead of popping corks off champagne bottles I’ll be popping out a baby.

                Day three, I took a test, I waited, I waited, I waited, no line. I took another test, still, no line. Admittedly it was the afternoon so I chocked it up to that. I read and read, sometimes this happens, sometimes you drink too much water and it’s too early in a pregnancy and you flush the hcg levels to below detection. No worries, I will try again tomorrow first thing in the morning, just like you’re supposed to. Woke up in the morning, took one Amazon test and one Dollar Store test, both showed no line. What happened? What the hell just happened? I know enough to know that it is next to impossible to obtain a false positive. So here’s what happened, it’s called a chemical pregnancy.

                What the hell is a chemical pregnancy? How did I miss this in my “studies”. Well, here’s what a chemical pregnancy is, it’s a pregnancy that starts and ends before your missed period. Chemical pregnancies make up more than 75% of miscarriages, and account for ONE in FOUR pregnancies. More often than not they go completely unnoticed since a period hasn’t been missed so most women don’t even know they have conceived, and this happens because of random chromosomal abnormalities that cease the continuation of implantation & development. Sigh….ok. They are referred to as chemical pregnancies because they cannot be detected clinically by ultrasound, they can only be detected by a pregnancy test or blood test.

                So, it’s back to the drawing board for baby number two. The good news is, I have pretty much nailed my “fertile days” so hopefully the next time around we will have more luck. Also, when I asked Maverick if he wanted a baby brother, or sister, he shook his head no, several times, but for the record, he shakes his head no for everything, I just found it hysterical at the time. Apparently, what Mav wants, Mav gets, and he wasn’t ready for a sibling this go round, but I’m optimistic that when the time is right, it will happen.

                I debated on whether or not I should blog about this, but I figured, what the hell. There’s probably lots of girls out there who might have experienced this, and I’m hoping to shed some light on the bright side of things. More often than not, subsequent pregnancies post a chemical pregnancy are a success, so cheers to that, and cheers to knowing I can get pregnant again as this in and of itself can be a mystery for hundreds of women! This little bump in the road has also taught me not to procrastinate, and to accept that things won’t always go exactly as planned. You would think I would know this by now, but sometimes we all need a little reminder.

Why Is He Not Answering My Prayers?

There are some things in life that are just hard to understand. All within the same week I attended a wake for a three year old child, I talked with a family member whom I discovered lost a child to infertility, I've witnessed the death of a marriage that is occurring, and it makes me ask why. Why do people have to go through such pain and hardships when others seem to have it all going on good? Why after endless prayers over and over does God not grant the desires of our hearts? No one should ever have to experience the pain of losing a child. It hurts even worse knowing they are a great family, and that she was and is a great mother to her children, and that they do good things for other people. Why them? Or those couples that experience infertility; why them? Why give the drug addict who can't take care of a child and who doesn't want a child first before the woman begging in her prayers for a child whom can wholeheartedly take care of that child? How does one marriage survive infidelity, but another marriage fails because they just never see eye to eye? Why do bad things happen to good people?

The questions for our unanswered prayers are endless. Our search for understanding is endless. 

The mother who lost her child, how does she move forward in life without her child? I witnessed an immeasurable amount of strength in that mother as she so graciously gave her precious time and attention to all the concerned and sympathizing beings in the room that evening. How did she do that?! I asked. She was so strong. And then she started telling me that her young child served her purpose here on earth and that something really great is going to come of her loss. (Not exactly in those words, but along those lines.) I was in awe of how she was so positive and hopeful when all I wanted to do was hug her and cry with her. Her strength was admirable.

When discovering the family member who lost their child also, I was in awe of her strength. I had no idea, but I saw her positive post as if life was going really well for her. And then when she shared her news with me, I was again in awe by her strength, her wisdom and her faith about her situation. 

And to the marriage that was ending, her hope in life moving on for her and that things were going to work out, even if a divorce wasn't what she wanted. And even when her marriage wasn't finalized by divorce yet, she was already speaking hopeful things into her future. I was again, taken back by her strength. 

Watching and hearing all of this happen in the same week posed that question we've all asked ourselves at some time or another; why isn't God answering my prayers? You may not believe in God; to each is own. But you may also be asking yourself, why is this happening to me? 

The answer is; you may never know. The mothers and fathers who lose their children may never understand why their child's life was cut all too short and why they get to live on. The woman who's body is struggling to prepare itself for a child may never understand why her blessing is on hold. And 50% of men and women that end in divorce may never understand why they didn't remain on the other side of the 50%; blissfully married. They may never understand, but I know they sure as heck are calling out for answers. Why me? Why can't the pain go away? Why can't the bad memories be erased? How long do I have to suffer? Will this ever get better? And the question I shamefully admit I've asked God one too many times; if you're so big and mighty, why can't you take this hurt away from me? Why aren't you listening to me?

I've gone through gut wrenching, heart tearing pain before. I've felt dead in an alive world. I've asked over and over why me? I've asked over and over, when will I move on from the pain? And here I am today, often times still reminded of the pain. There are days I still feel broken. Everything seems perfectly puzzled together right now in my life, but my heart is still reminded of the hurt. How much longer do I have to remember the hurt? I ask in prayer. 

After a long time of what felt like suffering, I've learned one thing about my trials and I've noticed the same thing in each and every person that has experienced trials too. That no matter the storm, they survived. And not only did they survive, but they came out stronger. And not only were they stronger, but they were more patient, more understanding, more forgiving, and more kind. And for me, I see my growth and transformation as a blessing. It was necessary for me to go through the pain in order to be where I am today. Where I am today may not be where I wanted to be, but who knows how I'd be mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually had things gone my way. I'm actually afraid to know what that would look like. Listening to God wasn't so bad after all. 

My testimony was formed from my pain and suffering. My relationship, not just my beliefs in God, but my intimate relationship with Him was formed from my pain and suffering. And I have to somewhat believe that maybe that's exactly why I had to go through my pain and suffering. Maybe I had to go through some hardship so I would have a testimony to share with others and that may even help others. Maybe I had to go through some hardship so I would get to know God a little better than I once did. Maybe He wanted to know me a lot more and He took the one thing he knew would get my attention the most and it would either force me to choose life in Him or death on earth. Maybe, just maybe, my hardship was meant to be for the best. 

I have to believe that bad things happen to good people for the best. To help them grow and to help them strengthen. And most of all, to prepare them for their future blessings.

I heard this analogy once that I'd like to share.

God wants to anoint us with His blessings. The term anoint means to smear or cover with. So God wants to cover us with His blessings. Think of our blessings as paint on a wall. The paint is long lasting. But before the paint is put on the wall, the wall is primed. The wall is primed so the paint sticks better to the wall and so the paint will last longer. God primes us before He paints us. In layman's terms; He takes us through some shit before anointing us with His blessings. (That's not the analogy and terminology that I originally heard, but sharing 'hardship' once more felt as if I was undermining my real feelings behind the pain) God puts us through some really hard shit, but He has a purpose to it all. It's so we are primed and ready to be painted and anointed with His blessings.

I understand some of you may not believe  or even want to understand that analogy, but hiding behind my faith and not speaking out about Gods glory was not my destiny. I was called to share His name with others and I was called to speak out about Him. For many years I sat quietly and humbly in my faith, and that was okay too, but God had plans to use me. And I can't help but think that He allowed those things to happen in my life so He could better use me. 

I've had friends and even family ask and wonder how I picked up the pieces in my life and moved forward. They are in awe of my strength; to which I remind them that my strength is not my own. And what I can't say for others because their beliefs are not for me to comment on, I can say for myself. What I can say for myself, is that without my God, Elizabeth Anne Pitney would not exist in this world today. I wanted to take my ticket out of this world. Leaving seemed much more painless than staying at the time. And when He knew I'd be thinking that way, He put something in my life at just the perfect time to ensure I would not take my own way out and to ensure that instead of choosing death, I'd choose life in Him. That blessing He bestowed upon me in the midst of what felt like death, was new life. In the midst of all of my pain and suffering He whispered to me and said, "Everything will be all right my dear child, you may rest in my presence." That new life was the news I received of Lincoln. When I felt like leaving, God knew it. But to keep me here, He said, try again, only this time, you will not only be taking just one of my children, but two from me. As frustrating as it can sometimes be, He knows my heart better than I know my own. And He knew I wasn't going anywhere with that child inside of me.

So I sit here today and share with you all just another segment of my testimony to which I am anxiously awaiting for my book to be finished, and reveal the rest of it. Can I be honest and frank? I used to hate writing. But little did I know that it would become my gift to help others. Little did I know it would become my way to express the words on my heart that go unspoken. Little did I know that God would take something I once despised doing, and turn it into something I am finally passionate about. I've felt I've searched so long for my passion and without even realizing it, it was uncovered throughout my hardship. Writing became my means of communicating most effectively to the ones I love most. It became my therapy. And now it's become my gift and talent that I will hopefully be able to use to help others.

I say this all to hopefully give you some hope in your current storms in life. Whatever hardship you're going through, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. There's dry land and beautiful flowers replanted after the storm is over. Your faith, your entire life and everything in it may be shaken, but you'll come out stronger in the end. You will be a better person. 

Your tests in life may become your testimonies to share and help others. Your mess of a life just may one day turn into your message to help others. Just remind yourself in the midst of your storm that you are being primed right now for something really great that is coming your way. I am just an average joe on this planet. But I have a calling and a higher purpose than I once thought I was set here on earth to do. You too, have a higher purpose and sometimes, as much as it hurts to go through the pain and suffering, it's necessary to ho through to get you to that higher purpose you're here for.

God never left my prayers unanswered, He just answered them differently than what I imagined them to be. He reminded me that He has my heart and my best interest at His heart. He was the only one that was able to make me feel loved the way I desired and He was the only one that could heal my broken heart and patch up my open wounds. He is the reason I am who I am today and He is the reason I have what I have today. 

Those dark days still want to creep up on me, but choosing life in Him has helped me survive those dark reminders. 

My prayer for you all is that you too can press forward in hopes that you will discover your purpose and your testimony through all your hardship. 

May you be blessed.