Dear Momma,
'Ma-Ma' was most likely one of the very first words you encouraged me to learn. And then we referred to you as Mommy and then mommy faded out the older we got and you became Mom. When we were mad at you, we called you Mother and when we called your name from a distance it was always, Ma! So, now it's back to Momma on this day again. Where it all began. I wanted to share my thanks and appreciation for you from the beginning, until now, Momma.
First of all, I need to account for all the days, moments, and memories that you'll never forget, but are far beyond my memory and remembrance. Like the sleepless nights you had when I was a newborn and the many times I kicked and screamed and a kiss, a cuddle, a swing, a bottle, or not even a pacifier could get my cry to seize. And with that I add, thank you for your patience. Your patience in waiting for me to crawl, to walk, to talk, to say the alphabet, to learn how to kick a ball, to finish the first through the twelfth grade, the patience in learning my lessons when it came to parties, to boys, to managing my monies. Being you takes a lot of patience.
I want to thank you for all the things you ever did that may have seemed to go unnoticed by Nate, Dad and I, but we sure did notice them all. Because without you and those things you did for us, we were more than your average dysfunctional family. We were lost without your order. You are like the glue that keeps us all in line and close together. In fact I'm going to start calling you Elmer, as in Elmer glue. Because you're not only the glue for our family. But for your brothers and sisters, your late mom and dad, and your friends. You are amazing, Elmer Momma!
We notice that you work a 9-5, come home and before you even think about kicking your feet up its diving into the fridge and getting a head start on preparing dinner for everyone. It's starting and finishing a load or two of laundry. It's ironing Dad's clothes for work. It's preparing lunches for everyone's tomorrow lunches. It's balancing the checkbook. It's doing the dishes. It's finishing any odds and ends around the house, doing any odds and ends for everyone in the family before you FINALLY sit down and kick your feet up. I'm sorry for the times I woke you up when your head finally hit the back of the couch after a long day where I wish now that I had the strength to carry you into your bed and tuck you in too. Because that's what you deserved, Momma.
Tucking in. You were always good at that too, Mom. Thanks for always making me feel safe. For being there on the days I was sick and home from school. You made chicken noodle soup like it was nobody's business, you already had a vomit bucket near by, and a pack of ice or heating pad for wherever the aches and pains were. Thank you for tucking me in at night and reading me a bedtime story and singing "Who's that Doggy in The Window". Thanks for always making sure I had an extra pair of gloves, earmuffs, socks, and pants during the coldest weeks of soccer season. I thought you were crazy, but you were always right and I always needed those extras. How did you always know?! Man, you were good at knowing everything. It was like you knew me better than myself a lot of the times.
Thank you for teaching me the nursery rhymes, for taking me to McDonalds and letting me have some juice here and there. Cuz a kid should get to try those things every now and then. Nowadays you're judged and considered a bad mom for letting your kids try some McDonalds French fries. Lincoln will get to try some French fries, Mom, I promise. But only on occasion. Thank you for teaching me that money came with good hard work by giving me a small allowance for my chores around home. Thank you for taking me to every Girl Scout event, every softball, basketball and soccer practice and game until I was old enough to drive myself. Thank you for every pair of tennis shoes you bought me when now I know you were giving because you wanted to see the joy in my face when little did I know you had to pick up some hours to pay for those shoes. Thank you for taking me to church and teaching me about right from wrong. Thank you for being a mom I look up to and one I want to be like someday. I know some daughters that want to be anything but a resemblance of their mother's and my heart hurts for them. Being like you is awesome.
Dancing like you is not so awesome, but it's fun! You find fun in anything. You encourage a board game at a gathering while everyone else wants to sit and watch TV or be on their phones. You're a people person. You taught me that it's okay to laugh at myself sometimes. You taught me that it's okay to have fun in my own company sometimes. When times were tough in grade school you knew the best medicine for us; a good ole comic book with a daily joke to start us off on the right foot. You made learning fun. You led by example that you can have just as much, if not more fun in life without drugs or alcohol. You taught me that if I'm not having fun, then why am I giving my time to something I don't enjoy. There were times I used to think you were anything but fun, but now I consider you my best friend. Best friends have lots of fun, Mom.
Most of all Mom, thank you for giving me all of these tools so that I can be a great mom for Lincoln. The goofy stuff really works! Where I thought Lincoln would look at me crazy, he just laughs with me instead. When he cries and there isn't a damned thing I can do to stop it, you always remind me to relax, and that it too shall pass. When the days seem long you remind me that it's all worth it. That every sleepless night, every moment of frustration and every moment there's a challenge and I feel like a failure, that it WILL get better and it is worth it. I know you're right, because everything you did for me, whether it was what you thought was best or not, was more than good enough for me in my opinion.
There's no handbook individualized enough for Lincoln on how to be the best mom for him, but you taught me a lot and I've taken those memories of ours and have been creating new ones with him. I know you never gave yourself enough credit, nor do I give myself enough, but I think we do a pretty good job at being 'Mom'. I'm happy, Lincoln's happy, and that's something to account for. If it weren't for you, I don't know where I'd be in this journey of motherhood I felt so ill prepared for.
Mom, what you may not know is that I pray for you every day and I thank God that He chose you to be my mother. Thanks, Mom. I love you. And Happy Mother's Day every damn day! You deserve a celebration in your name 365 days out of the year.
Love Always,
Liz
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