I've always loved Easter and the meaning of it. Easter egg hunts and baskets filled with goodies as a kid; nothing was better. The pastel rainbow color palette, spring weather, and the hope this season gives others has always been my favorite. Yesterday I got to share this favorite day of mine with my son and his beloved daddy. To share that favorite day with two of the most dearest people to my heart was an absolute treat.
Our church services are performed at 7:30 and 10:45am every Sunday. We usually get up to go to the 7:30am service because it means we get out of church earlier in the day and have more time to get other things done. But this morning daddy decided to let everyone sleep in. Which was another treat in itself. Not only did we sleep in, but we awoke to breakfast in bed. Lincoln a bottle, and I was greeted with sausage, eggs and French toast. Ryan loves to cook and he loves to surprise me so it was a win-win to start the day off.
We made it to second service where the church was jam packed. A great sight for Pastor, not so much for us. The air system was broken and it was a hot and sweaty service, which sometimes makes it hard to focus on the sermon when you're constantly fanning yourself to keep cool. Add a baby in the mix, constantly worried on their body temperature, if they are going to belt out a loud cry, and whether or not they are hungry, church gets a little hotter with all that fidgeting.
Service was great, the message was great, the choir and dance ministries were great. I love our church and everything that goes in to making each service unique and entertaining. Lincoln slept the entire time so that took away our worries of being those newbie parents during the service that struggle to calm their kid down. Pastor talked about "Dreaming Again" and I thought I'd share parts of his sermon.
The last year and a half of my life came with many trials. There were many bumps and bruises to my ego, my heart, and my overall happiness. You know the saying that says bad things come in threes? Well, it was like bad things come in tens for me. It seemed to be one thing after the next, or at least that's how I began to look at everything.
When one bad circumstance approached in my life, I had a hard time letting it go. I'd carry it with me for a long time and before you know it, something else would come up that would set me back. Instead of looking at everything as lessons learned, I saw life as unfair. I had a horrible outlook on everything. I didn't enjoy my pregnancy until the very end. Any problems that were arising in my relationship I thought were enough to make he or I want to flee from one another. When business would get slow, I'd worry about every bill and how it was going to get paid. I worried a lot about things that weren't meant for me to worry about. I had a negative view on some of my life's most important lessons. It's easy to do what I did. What's hard is focusing on the positive, having faith and hope that everything will work out for my own good, and just trusting His future for me.
A month ago I was diagnosed with postpartum depression. I finally decided to talk to my doctor about everything I had been feeling from negativity, to sadness, to worry. I took a simple test, talked to her and before I knew it she was giving me information on postpartum and talking to me about possible medications to begin.
She was still talking as I was thinking to myself, "I went through all of this to find out that I was the problem all along?" I had to go on medication. I had to seek therapy. Now I was just even more furious. "Where were you God in that moment?" I thought to myself. He was right there all along though, every single moment; He never left. But He was waiting for me to see Him instead of always seeing the worst in every situation.
I went through a spiritual warfare, a financial warfare, a relationship warfare, an identity warfare. My entire life was changing for what I once thought was the worst. But in church today, I was reminded that it's okay to dream again about life being good. This Easter weekend I was reminded of the greatest gift Jesus gave to me; himself.
I have never not been able to pay a bill. We are still in business and running smoothly. Our relationship has overcome some major obstacles and we are a team now looking out for one another rather than ourselves only. I truly believe it was necessary for us to learn some lessons before we could ever think about the commitment of marriage. We are about to finish our pre marital class in the next week. We survived! Which makes us one step closer to that commitment and that blessing from God. I may not have enjoyed pregnancy, but I gave birth to a healthy baby boy who is now almost five months and has brought an unimaginable amount of joy to my life. I may have been diagnosed with some postpartum, but instead of talking about what God wasn't doing for me, I began talking about what he has done for me and what he will do for me.
To dream again for me, means that no matter the struggle or how long the storm may last, I know that I have a God that will carry me through. My struggle seemed like it was never going to end, but instead of focusing on everything that has happened that had gone wrong, I needed to shift that perspective and focus on how far I had come and begin talking about the blessings He has in store for me. I needed to start dreaming again.
Eventually you can talk yourself into a life of turmoil. Your words can be spoken into existence. If you focus on the lack of finances, the relationship issues, your bad health, your diagnosis, and your unfair cards that you felt were dealt to you, that's the life you're going to live. But if you talk about how you've never been without when it comes to money, that your spouse is still there with you at the end of the day, that you are still breathing upon waking everyday no matter your diagnosis, then you are going to view your life a bit more positively.
So no matter your situation or circumstance, I challenge you to find at least one positive thing about that situation. Lost a loved one? Just think of how they are no longer suffering and how good of hands they are in now. Late on paying a bill? Just remind yourself that you still have a home, with food to eat, a bed to lay in at night, and clothes to keep you warm. Had an argument with your significant other? Just remind yourself of how conflict can present an opportunity. Refrain from shouting in anger. You have the opportunity to listen, to grow in your relationship and better your communication when an argument, or disagreement rather, presents itself.
However wrong things seem to be going, start dreaming again. Start thinking of how far you've come and what is in store for you. The shift in your perspective will literally shift your life. Ever gone to church and heard a message or read something in a book and told yourself you needed to hear that right at that time? That's how yesterday was for me. And it was the perfect message for the day.
Not even death could hold Jesus down. He rose from death and shared with others that nothing was going to hold him down. And if we believed in that and in him, then we'd also realize that nothing can hold us down either. He gave his life for me, for us, and because He did that, I don't have to worry about all the things that could go wrong. All I have to do is remind myself that everything is going to be okay. I have to believe in the good.
Whatever you are going through, don't let it hold you down. Speak life into your words and start dreaming again. And if you want to hear the awesome message for yourself, just go to www.newsalemcares.com and click on the sermon tab where you'll find all Pastor Troy's good ole motivation.
Hoping your week is filled with dreams again!
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